Saturday, January 29, 2011

Serenity NOW! :D

"Practice word therapy - Serenity, urbanity, imperturbability, equanimity. Say those powerful, mind-healing words over to yourself every day. Let them recondition your stressful attitudes." Positive Thinking Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

This one reminds me irresistibly of an episode of Seinfeld. In this episode, George Castanza is told that if he says, "Serenity now..." that he can manifest serenity for himself. What George forgets, however, is to breath and believe that it can calm him.

By the end of the episode, not just the word, but the feeling loses its meaning for him altogether. Granted, if he had actually found the serene feeling that he had been searching for, the episode and the character would cease to be funny.

But it makes me wonder... how much of my world is colored by perception and how much of it is my own creation?

Perhaps its time to manifest my own destiny. Time to "shit or get off of the pot" as a few of my family members say. If I can't change my own situation, then I'll be doomed to live in this same reality for how ever long. No one is going to come and save me. Its time to be my own white knight.

Time to take action... SERENITY NOW! Or, in my case: Positive change NOW!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


"One of the few greatest satisfactions of this life is to handle problems efficiently and well." Positive Thinking Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Community Spirit

"Miracles are in all sizes. And if you start believing in little miracles you can work up to the bigger ones." Positive Thinking Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

Ah... Music!

There is an interesting thing that happens when a group of people plays for another group of people. The people playing are pouring their hearts out(figuratively) through the creation of music on instruments and with voices...

The people in the audience (when in a receptive mood, cause this isn't always the case) then feel a swelling of joy in the music and reciprocate that feeling of love of music and for the ones performing it...

This is why performers have such trouble off-stage. Could you imagine if your own self-worth was tied to this intense level of performance induced communal love? Naturally, after the show was over, you'd have some trouble sleeping. Then, when the show closes, you have to find another show or possibly find yourself in depression.

Been there... done that... drinking or going out after the show with the cast does help the not being able to sleep part. But the depression is something else entirely. If you've never felt that incredible rush of hundreds of people cheering for you or even singing along with something you're on stage singing... then I'm not sure I'm the one to explain it. Its a deeply spiritual Communion.

That being said, Go Out and SEE The Airborne Toxic Event!

My significant other and I went to see them last night with the Colorado Symphony in Boetcher Hall. It was incredible. There is something to be said for the communion of spirit that happens at a great show. They did it very well and we were all very happy to see them. :D

Ah... Hair!

The women of the village are gathering today, my friends. The lovely and talented Cora Kemp is finally getting her hair cut off so that she can donate to Locks of Love. When she heard about this, Melinda decided to join us to get a trim as well... or it might have been Jenn LeBlanc... I'm not sure, actually.

But nonetheless... We're gonna have fun, I think... :D

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Smarter, not harder...

"People who are really efficient seem to do things easily, with a minimum of effort. In so doing they release maximum power." -Positive thinking every day by Norman Vincent Peale

I am good at what I do. Generally, its because I try and find the most efficient way of doing things and use that route until its well worn.

I have deep tire treads of efficiency at work, actually. Maybe that's why I'm suddenly scared of what tomorrow might hold. Let me clarify: tomorrow, I take the second of two tests to get my Cosmetology license.

If I pass this 'written' exam, I will be handing in my notice to my current employers and getting another job in this new field. Its the culmination of two years of school and marks the start of something that I always end of worrying about.

Beginning something new.

Once I'm in a position, I'm great. Once I know the lay of the land, I can build on the efficiency and efficacy that is my nature and I'll be successful in whatever I put my mind to... but its the starting of these endeavors that I always have trouble with.

Its great to envision what you might do... what could happen... but its a whole other thing to actually go and do that thing.

What if I really go after something I want, for once, and then fail utterly?

What if I'm not good at business after all? Will my dreams of opening a salon and spa of my own never come to pass?

Or will I end up unsuccessful, fat and alone at the end of my struggles with a large debt and bankruptcy looming in the wings?

Or... will I be wildly successful?

I just don't know. I don't have a map for this... and I seem to have lost my compass. All I can do is study for the test and pass it. From there? I just don't know...

Monday, January 17, 2011


"If you think lack you tend to create a condition of lack. Shift your thought pattern to one of abundance and believe that God is now in the process of giving you the abundance you need." -Positive Thinking for Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

Sunday, January 16, 2011


"Its always too soon to quit." -Positive Thinking for Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A Life Celebrated

"Cushion the painful effects of hard blows by keeping enthusiasm going strong, even if doing so requires struggle." -Positive Thinking Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

This quote fits today a bit better than the actual quote in the book. Granted, it fit yesterday's struggles at work to a T, which is more than a little disconcerting in a fascinating and sort of prophetic way.

That being said, today is a low-key memorial for a dear friend of mine. As a former Renaissance festival performer, I have a colorful collection of wonderful friends. Each more interesting and big-hearted than the last.

Last week, our tightly knit community of rag-tag individuals received some very sad news. A great friend and very good man had passed away. In this amazing and warm community of people, Norman David Morris was by far one of the best.

I've long been of the opinion that funerals are not only depressing, they're a little on the insulting side. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the religious aspect of remembering their lives and giving them to whatever deity is the most fitting for their memory, but to be honest, I find it all unnecessarily sad.

Celebrating a life lived seems much more fitting to those who really touched the world with their warmth. We lost Norm too early for my taste, but if given the option, he probably would have been someone I'd have kept around for a good many years.

In the spirit of our renaissance family, we're raising a glass to the man tonight. The most fitting libation that I could think of is Scotch. As a reenactor, Norm was most commonly outfitted as one of three things: A Danish prince, a Viking, or a Scotsman. As a good Scotsman, he was known to often carry good Scotch.

My first season at the CORF, it rained a few weekends very hard and became very cold very fast. I learned quite quickly who had flasks of very potent and very warming liquors. Its a very useful thing to keep on yourself, actually. A flask can calm nerves, create friends and keep one warm on a cold day.

The first person to ever hand me Scotch was our dear friend Norm. I was dressed that season as a Nun with comically enhanced features (including giant, out of proportion fake breasts). It was a hot costume in the sun and a freezing cold costume in the rain.

As a potent liquor with its quickly warming effects, it was my favorite libation for bad weather. In fact, because of that effect, now every time it rains I crave Scotch. I blame Norm for that. *grins* So what better way to celebrate the passing of this great man than to get together with good friends and raise a glass of Scotch to him?

Sounds like a plan to me!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Willpower and Guilt

"Cultivate will power, that massive creative force that God the creator built into you. Do not let it remain flabby but strengthen it by use and exercise."

"Have absolutely no sense of guilt about being happy and successful if you operate honestly and with a sense of social responsibility."
-Positive Thinking Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

Yes, I want a cookie. I also want a big house, a dog and a sexy body. I want beauty, success and peace of mind. But I really want a cookie.

Needs are a different animal, though, aren't they? I need to eat healthy and exercise. I need a roof over my head and a place to sleep. I need to be hygienic and to cover my bills. I need to think positive so that my worries don't corrode my well being and to avoid developing ulcers.

How does one achieve these basics when it seems like everything is in your way? How do you reconcile your needs with your desires? No, I don't need a new car or liposuction or excessive makeup or a personal assistant or fame or fortune or any of that self-serving drivel.

I want it, though.

I want the whole stupid storybook. A house with a yard and a dog. A husband, a child or two and love. Wondrous success and extra money. Travel and fame and free time and doting and unconditional forgiveness... I want it all.

The biggest problem that I seem to run into with all of this, is that I feel supremely guilty about the whole thing.

Yes, I want a cookie, but I have to justify that I did good enough to deserve a cookie. Sometimes this feeling multiplies and roils in my stomach until I start to wonder if I deserve food at all. Then I get overly hungry or irritable or my hypoglycemia kicks in and then I overeat. Which makes the whole process that much more raw and emotional.

Do I deserve to be happy? What makes me happy in the first place? Why?

Until I can let go of the guilt, I don't know if I can be truly happy. I'm working on it, but its difficult when a lack of will power is paired with deep guilt. I want to be better, but I don't know what to do except for practicing everyday with little things.

Only one cookie. Let the past go. Prepare for the future, but don't mourn for futures that have not come to pass. Take joy in simplicity and do not harbor guilt over things that cannot be changed or on successes that others have not shared.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Act your age?

"Live your life and forget your age." -Positive thinking every day by Norman Vincent Peale

How old am I again?

Sometimes I feel ancient. Older, somehow than the dirt under my feet or the breezes around my body. Older than the rain or the streams that flow. Fire seems to be my only compatriot, though sometimes I feel that I'm older than that as well.

But sometimes I feel so young and fresh and naive that nothing seems to make sense.

I know that there is a season to every life and to every incarnation of life. Kermit the frog actually put it very well when he said that "life is full of meetings and partings... that is the way of it."

But to say that one should forget the years in favor of living to the fullest is a grand idea. Its a truly ancient concept with parallels in every major religion. Its the idea of putting aside distractions to live and love and go on.

This, I believe is why the Muslims do not have pictures depicting their religious icons and beliefs. Its also found in Christianity with Jesus encouraging his followers to give away all of their possessions and to follow him. Its in the Zen Buddhist path to enlightenment in the form of bringing forth all the discomforts and hells that we've created for ourselves, acknowledging them and then letting them go.

Get out of your own way, and there is happiness around the corner.

Life is full of trials and tribulations that can make us feel like fumbling newborns in a world wrought with pointed edges. It can weigh on us until we feel like our hearts will implode from loss.

But it is also brimming with simple joys. The beauty of new fallen snow, the laughter of children, the babbling brook, a warm fire, a soft breeze... and the comfort of loved ones. It doesn't matter how old we are, we are still here; and we're here for each other.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Welcome to the New Year!!

"When you wholeheartedly adopt a 'with all your heart' attitude and go all out with the positive principle, you can do incredible things."
-Positive Thinking Every Day" by Norman Vincent Peale

Hi there 2011!

Welcome to the new year everyone! So far so good out here in Boulder.

We had a nice day full of behind the scenes hockey from HBO, a wonderful hockey game set outdoors and a fantastic meal of pork tenderloin with mashed potatoes and green beans. I even got in a little sauerkraut for good luck.

The biggest thing is to keep on going and to keep positive. Look to the good in life and let it into your heart. Think positive, surround yourself with goodness and you'll start to find yourself doing better and feeling better... and doing incredible things in the end.

Here's to make 2011 the best year ever!