Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Smarter, not harder...

"People who are really efficient seem to do things easily, with a minimum of effort. In so doing they release maximum power." -Positive thinking every day by Norman Vincent Peale

I am good at what I do. Generally, its because I try and find the most efficient way of doing things and use that route until its well worn.

I have deep tire treads of efficiency at work, actually. Maybe that's why I'm suddenly scared of what tomorrow might hold. Let me clarify: tomorrow, I take the second of two tests to get my Cosmetology license.

If I pass this 'written' exam, I will be handing in my notice to my current employers and getting another job in this new field. Its the culmination of two years of school and marks the start of something that I always end of worrying about.

Beginning something new.

Once I'm in a position, I'm great. Once I know the lay of the land, I can build on the efficiency and efficacy that is my nature and I'll be successful in whatever I put my mind to... but its the starting of these endeavors that I always have trouble with.

Its great to envision what you might do... what could happen... but its a whole other thing to actually go and do that thing.

What if I really go after something I want, for once, and then fail utterly?

What if I'm not good at business after all? Will my dreams of opening a salon and spa of my own never come to pass?

Or will I end up unsuccessful, fat and alone at the end of my struggles with a large debt and bankruptcy looming in the wings?

Or... will I be wildly successful?

I just don't know. I don't have a map for this... and I seem to have lost my compass. All I can do is study for the test and pass it. From there? I just don't know...

1 comment:

jennleblanc.com said...

Yay Monika! I'm so excited to see what you do in this next life. You are amazing.